So a questioned I've been asked a lot recently is...so what made you come before Christmas? or How can you leave your family at Christmas time?
Well my answer for that is simple...because it's what God said to do. I felt called to come back to New Zealand in early December to see off a few of my dear friends before they went on outreach. I felt called to come back to reconnect with my co-leader in person and spend time planning the school in the same place. I wanted to come back and reunite with people in Oxford that I had said I'll see you in 4 months...and didn't come back for a year and a half. I wanted to build relationships with people at the church I attend and really begin to set some roots. I wanted to continue to build on friendships here and continue to make this place feel like home even more.
Christmas was hard at first this year. On Christmas Eve and Christmas morning I broke down in tears because I missed home and I missed my family. I talked to my parents briefly and it just made me miss them even more. I texted with friends and talked with my roommates. I miss my uncle and my heart breaks for his family as they experience the first Christmas without him. I miss the little things that I took for granted and cherish so dearly now.
But today was also a really good day. I got to skype with my parents which I didn't think I would get to do. I got to do Christmas morning with my roommates and open presents. I spent the day with a really great Kiwi family who adopted me as one of their own and opened their home up. We had a massive Christmas dinner, sat around and talked, played games, went on a walk, and just really felt like part of a family. I came home and am extremely thankful that today I got to experience a bit of my bigger family. I got to experience a new depth of God's love and He felt every so close today. He brought peace and comfort, not only through Himself but through other people. The family that adopted me knew that this would be a rough day and so we (my friend Kelsey and I) were met with lots of hugs and asking how we were. Sharing about what Christmas looks like where we are from and they did what they could to make it feel a bit more like home.
So when asked how can you do Christmas away, my response is...yes Christmas is hard to be away but I get to learn more about the family I have with God. I get to be comforted by the one who knows me the best. I get loved on people both near and far. But Christmas and any other day spent away from where I grew up, from my family and friends, is one more day that I continually say that God is worth it. He is worth the time away from friends and family. He is worth so much more than anything that I could give Him and this is just one thing that I can do. I am called to a beautiful country filled with beautiful people and I am happy here, but on days like today, when it's a bit harder to be far away from family, I just remind myself that He is worth it and then I ask the one who created me to stay close and to speak to my innermost being. On days when it's hard, I get to just sit in my heavenly Father's lap and let Him love me and comfort me. On days like today, I get to glimpse a little bit of what heaven's going to be like and it's going to be awesome.
