Who told you, you weren't beautiful?
I hear the Father ask me this.
Who told you, you weren't beautiful?
Years of being picked on flash through my mind. Years of being the tallest or the biggest girl. Years of being called big foot, the jolly green giant, or other names that have long been forgotten but their scars are still there. My mind flashes back to statements of, "You would be more attractive if you could just lose a few pounds. or you would have a boyfriend if you were skinnier." I think about the time in college when I lost weight because of stress, when I lost weight because of circumstances around me, when I had an eating disorder. My mind also floats back to about 2 months ago when I sat in a doctors office and the woman in front of me tells me I'm obese. Words hurt. Words have so much power.
I answer back to my Father and say the world, friends, and family. People that I love and people I barely even know.
He says to me: You are so beautiful my daughter. See yourself with my eyes. You are so beautiful. Your smile is beautiful. Your eyes light up when you laugh. You are so beautiful. Listen to my voice. Listen to what I tell you and believe it. Believe that you are loved and you are worthy of love. I am enthralled with your beauty. Listen to my voice. Listen to my sweet whisper of love.
This is a glimpse into a conversation I had with God this past week. This is something I am dealing with right now with the need to be beautiful, with feeling beautiful, and being confident in that beauty. Being confident in who God made me, the emotional, beautiful mess of a person that He loves so deeply. I have committed to read Psalm 139 every single morning and throughout the day. I have committed to begin reading it to myself while I look in a mirror. I want to see myself the way Papa sees me. I want to see myself the way the Father sees me.
I want people to know that words have so much power. I had been winning this battle of beauty for a good 6 months until I went to the doctors and those words of her telling me I'm obese just cut deep. I don't even know how or why but they did. And I didn't feel beautiful. I honestly felt like a fat, ugly bump on a log, not worth a second glance. The words stung. Words have power. We need to speak life over ourselves but also over each other. We need to be careful with what we say, even when we are joking around. You don't know what other people have battled with, or are battling. We need to speak words of life and love over each other.
So will you make a stand with me and speak words of love. Speak words of life. Speak words of beauty.
And know that you are beautiful and so madly loved by a King who gave up everything for you.
