Christmas Away

So a questioned I've been asked a lot recently is...so what made you come before Christmas? or How can you leave your family at Christmas time?

Well my answer for that is simple...because it's what God said to do. I felt called to come back to New Zealand in early December to see off a few of my dear friends before they went on outreach. I felt called to come back to reconnect with my co-leader in person and spend time planning the school in the same place. I wanted to come back and reunite with people in Oxford that I had said I'll see you in 4 months...and didn't come back for a year and a half. I wanted to build relationships with people at the church I attend and really begin to set some roots. I wanted to continue to build on friendships here and continue to make this place feel like home even more.

Christmas was hard at first this year. On Christmas Eve and Christmas morning I broke down in tears because I missed home and I missed my family. I talked to my parents briefly and it just made me miss them even more. I texted with friends and talked with my roommates. I miss my uncle and my heart breaks for his family as they experience the first Christmas without him. I miss the little things that I took for granted and cherish so dearly now.

But today was also a really good day. I got to skype with my parents which I didn't think I would get to do. I got to do Christmas morning with my roommates and open presents. I spent the day with a really great Kiwi family who adopted me as one of their own and opened their home up. We had a massive Christmas dinner, sat around and talked, played games, went on a walk, and just really felt like part of a family. I came home and am extremely thankful that today I got to experience a bit of my bigger family. I got to experience a new depth of God's love and He felt every so close today. He brought peace and comfort, not only through Himself but through other people. The family that adopted me knew that this would be a rough day and so we (my friend Kelsey and I) were met with lots of hugs and asking how we were. Sharing about what Christmas looks like where we are from and they did what they could to make it feel a bit more like home.

So when asked how can you do Christmas away, my response is...yes Christmas is hard to be away but I get to learn more about the family I have with God. I get to be comforted by the one who knows me the best. I get loved on people both near and far. But Christmas and any other day spent away from where I grew up, from my family and friends, is one more day that I continually say that God is worth it. He is worth the time away from friends and family. He is worth so much more than anything that I could give Him and this is just one thing that I can do. I am called to a beautiful country filled with beautiful people and I am happy here, but on days like today, when it's a bit harder to be far away from family, I just remind myself that He is worth it and then I ask the one who created me to stay close and to speak to my innermost being. On days when it's hard, I get to just sit in my heavenly Father's lap and let Him love me and comfort me. On days like today, I get to glimpse a little bit of what heaven's going to be like and it's going to be awesome.

One Year Later

A year ago today I made the announcement that I would be staying stateside and going to seminary. Today I paid for my last classes and turned in my application for graduation. It's crazy to think about all that has happened in a year and all that I have experienced. I am so grateful for this past year at home. There have been times that have challenged me and tried me, there have been moments of great joy and sorrow. And you know what I wouldn't change it. My friendships with people have grown much stronger and deeper. I have been able to be vulnerable and open with people and to share what God has been teaching me in this journey of life. I have been given opportunities to lead and to follow. I have been able to see many of my lovely friends and family from around the world this past year. God knows exactly what we need and the timing in which we need it and this past year was one of growth and relationship building for myself.

It was during Teen Camp a year ago that I found out that my visa was denied, and it was the perfect spot for me to find out because I was surrounded by people that I love and who love me. These are the people who see you at your best and worst and still love you. These are the people who have encouraged me for years and have seen me grow from camper to teen staffer to counselor to program director. Last week I returned to be on the program team for Teen Camp once again. After months of planning and organizing it was time to finally see it all come together and have the campers arrive.

Let me tell you camp was amazing, in so many more ways than I was expecting. I was expecting to laugh a lot and have some really great conversations with people. I was expecting to see God to work but He blew my mind away. I saw God change the heart of a camper who we did not know what to do with her at the beginning of the week but at the end she was standing with arms held high praising God. No heart, no person is never too far away from God. Prayer does wonders. I saw the answer to prayer on Friday night, and with tears streaming down my face He gave me another reminder that He is always at work. I had campers come up to me saying do you remember me? You were my counselor when I was 9 or when I was at this camp? It was amazing to see how they have grown and developed and that they are still coming to camp. I had campers tell me that camp has changed their life and you know what I say to that, it changed mine too.

I have been going to Lake Geneva Youth Camp since I was 8. I got my patches. I worked in the kitchen, in handcraft, on rec staff and as a counselor. I have gone to teen camp and worked family camp. I have fallen in love with God every single summer. I have created life long friendships that even if we don't talk for a while pick up exactly where we left off. I believe in the power of summer camp and how it is such a unique place to meet with God and to experience family, community and to hear the truth of God. Last Saturday was one of the hardest days for me. I had to say good bye to my second home. I am returning to New Zealand in December and I won't be home for camp next summer and my heart is sad about that. I had to say good bye to the family that I have created over the past 18 years of my life. It was and still has been an emotional week. I know that God has big plans for this next year and that next summer will be great and I will be doing Kingdom work wherever I am but my heart will be a little bit sad that I won't be in one of my favorite places in the world with my camp family. But I will cherish the time and memories and will be excitingly looking forward to the next time I am able to be there again. It's crazy all the things that can happen for year and looking forward I cannot wait to see where God will take me next.

Journey Off the Map

My emotions have been a bit all over the place this past week, let's be real, over the past year but even more so this past week. I think a big part of it was because I saw God's hand at work. I saw God's kingdom come to earth in my church. I saw the one part of the body come together to help another part and man it was a beautiful sight that brought me to tears every. single. day.

This past week I had the opportunity to co-direct the VBS at my church. It's been amazing to see how everything comes together after months of planning. The time, the effort, the conversations and decisions that come into play. This year we made some big changes to our VBS program, we got rid of crafts and we got rid of water games. The curriculum we were using was called Journey Off The Map and it's all about how we need to know our guide, trust our guide, and follow Him. God is our guide and sometimes He takes us on adventures where we didn't know we were going. This has been my journey the last four years and it has been a wild ride but the greatest adventure I could ever go on. I have journeyed off the map and gone places I never thought I would want to go too or fall in love with. Even this last year and being home to help plan VBS has been part of that journey. This past year and working at Starbucks and going to Seminary has been different than what I thought God had planned for me but HIS plans are perfect. 

Anyways back to VBS, there was also a missions component that we felt was more important than crafts. It told the story of two different kids. Gracie, who is a missionary in Lesotho Africa with her parents and sisters. The other is a story of kid named Eddie who started a bible study after school with some friends that grew into a church in Fontana, California. Funny thing is, that church is where one of my best friends from YWAM attends and has helped form him into the man of God that he is. These stories show how God uses us wherever we are and that we can be a part of missions here in the states doing something as simple as a bible study or you can be called overseas to serve in the villages of Africa. God will use you wherever you are, just listen for His voice sayings "This is the way, now walk in it."

Every year we take an offering for a missionary or an organization. Two years ago the kids raised money for me to go back to New Zealand. This year we raised money for Sila Home which was one of the children's homes I worked with in Thailand. We didn't know how much we would raise but every day as we sang the song, How Much Does it Weigh?, and the kids were running forward with their change for the offering my eyes welled with tears. It's a beautiful thing to see kids raising money for other kids in another country. Today we tallied how much money and how much "weight" the kids brought in. We had set a goal of 225 pounds. They brought in 444 pounds of change and it totaled over $1200. In that moment I was overwhelmed with the goodness of God and how His plans and his connections for us are the best thing. He has brought us together as a family to take care of one another. I know that it doesn't seem like much but this week I saw God's kingdom come to earth and I saw His hands move in my church. 

As we look around the world, we can become overwhelmed with all the evil and terrible things that are happening but we must remember who is in control. He is our guide and we can trust Him. He knows what is happening. We just have to take a look around and see the goodness of God. It's there, we just have to ask for His eyes to see it.